06 April 2005

The Uncanny O-Man: Top 5 Most Annoying Companies/Imprints

  • Vertigo: You know, I had this thought in 1991 that it'd be great if all of DC's mature readers titles split off into their own imprint. Then, it happens. Then, it's as if all the editors say to all the writers, "Hey, guys, write some weird sh!t about magic and sex, we'll charge $5.95 for everything, and Omar will buy it like a chump. We'll make millions off this one moron alone. Can you imagine how much we're going to make off of people with real money?"
  • Impact Comics: Gawddamn. You know, I used to have this thought that I'd get copies of people's worst projects - comics, film, television, posters, books, whatever - and I'd bring it up to them and say, "Hello, Mr./Ms. [insert name here], this changed my life. It is the most incredible piece of work you've ever produced. Please sign it." And I'd pull out that one comic someone worked on for Impact Comics. Why? Cause I'm a punk.
  • The New Universe Valiant Defiant Broadway Comics: I bought every #1 they put out. I fuggin' suck. Damn you, Jim Shooter!
  • You know what Image's first comic was? Youngblood. Way to put your best foot forward.
  • Eclipse Comics: ...now that McFarlane owns it. Remember when Neil Gaiman had to sue McFarlane to get paid? That was fragging awesome! Now here's a comic book company I can support. Oh, wait, did I just mention Image twice? Did I give them #1 and #2? Man, I'm a jerk.

5 comments:

Victor Infante said...

Ah, man. Wish I could say you were lying. Vertigo was such a lovely idea when it started, and did nifty things for its core three titles. (Sandman, Swamp Thing and Hellblazer.) But MAN, they've put out some self-important masturbatory garbage over the years. I remember fondly the days I bought everything they released, but now the only thing I'm following faithfully is "Fables."

I hated McFarlane from the moment I first saw him in "Spider-Man," so I actively avoided buying his stuff. Also? "Spawn" sucked. Big time.

But alas, I'm probably the last "New Universe" defender out there, and even I can't put up much of a fight. They had a couple really good ideas, and I think they had some real potential. It just ran out of steam too quickly.

Anonymous said...

While Eclipse is owned by Mcfarlane, Miracleman is owned by Gaiman and Buckimgham (sic).

Omar said...

Five core titles, thank-you-very-much. You forgot Doom Patrol and Shade, the Changing Man. BOO-YAH!

Yes... there are many New Universe defenders. It's ashame about Valiant. They had such a great start. Unity was amazing. It is the way a cross-over should be.

Dear Anonymous, as far as I know (from the interweb rumor mill) the rights to Miracleman are McFarlane's. Gaiman and Buckingham own the rights to the stories they wrote/draw and published. I have no idea who owns work before Gaiman/Buckingham.

Defiant1 said...

Okay, I'll chew the bait... and the hook, and the line. Yes, it is annoying that Defiant & Broadway were never completed, but you left the most annoying imprint off the list. Valiant. From best to worst in a matter of about 5 months time. Valiant belongs at the top of the list because their best books (the early pre-Unity ones) coincided with the low sales yet the start of their worst books coincided with very high sales. That means if you did buy into the high quality sales pitch, you got the bait-and-switch.

I think I'd have to add Chaos Comics to the list of most anoying. For some reason I can't stand anything they released.

Omar said...

Crap. It might have been six titles. Stupid Animal Man...

Never read any of Chaos comics. *Phew*