07 February 2005

The Uncanny O-Man: Five Superheroes Whose Sexual Prowess I Envy

5. Matter-Eater Lad. What do you get the girl (or boy) who has everything? Why, you get her the boy who will eat anything.

4. Professor X. No one talks about telepathic sex much, but imagine it. Both partners feeling and sensing everything at the same time. HOTTT!!!

3. The smoothest mofo in all of comicdom has got to be Hunter Rose. That boy could smooth talk Granny Goodness' panties off. Fo' shizzle.

2. Green Lantern. Unlimited toys all the time. Granted, they're all glowing and green, but you know how much that stuff costs? (Silent tie with Green Lantern is Iron Man. Honestly, though, GL can just imagine it and it becomes real. Iron Man has to have his company design it.)

1. More freaky than Mr. Fantastic, not as creepy as Elongated Man... You guessed it... PLASTIC MAN!

3 comments:

Ryan Murray said...

I definitely agree with the Green Lantern, but I am not sold yet on Plastic Man. I didn't know he could keep it rigid.

Greg said...

Luke Cage, maybe -- unless it's all for show. Still, I'd put him in there before Prof. X. Xavier just seems to Puritan to do that (that could be part of the draw, I suppose). Can't women have sexual prowess? I bet Zatanna gets a lot.

Omar said...

Ok, I should have specified male superheroes. At some point, I am going to make a list of female superheroines; but I didn't want to lead with it.

As far as Plastic Man goes... Plas isn't a glob of goo. He is able to hold a form...

Prof X may not use his hotness, but he's got it.

I would like to add that a friend of mine asked me to write these lists 12 or 13 years ago for a zine. I'm big on deadlines, you see.